Im depressed/life is hell/ need help!!!!?

You should tell your brother that you and your mom are hurting too. Not just him. You all loved your dad, you all feel the pain. If he hits you again you should call the cops and show him that what he does-comes with consequences. You can always tell the cops you don't want to press charges once they have gotten there and broken up the fight. That way your brother will not go to jail. But it will scare him into a sort of submission. You should not stop celebrating your birthday. I'm sure your dad loved you and only wants you to be happy. I do not think he would want you to sulk and be depressed on your birthday. He would want you to celebrate and be happy, that I think would make him smile down on you. To see his family happy. Think of your birthday as a celebration of both you and your dad's life. Celebrating the life he had with you and the life he gave to you. It is not selfish or rude to celebrate your birthday. If it makes you feel better you can even celebrate it a day late or something every year. When my brother died I know that I felt guilty on the Holidays, but he would have wanted us to be happy as a family. No hitting, cussing,violence or hate. There is counseling available at your school for free. You can also find stuff like this at YMCA for free. You guys should apply for a food stamp card to get free groceries to help you out. You could get a part time job as well. Maybe your brother could join a big brother program? Hope this helps and good luck.